When It Rains ....

I got pick pocketed yesterday. Some bastard of a man bumped into me and stole my organizer right out of my purse. In that organizer was $800 cash that I'd JUST withdrawn from the ATM, my credit cards, store cards, license, medical cards, business cards, checkbook, and pictures of my son... Why did I have $800 in my purse? Well, I was going to stop by and pay my rent on my way back from work... Why didn't I write my landlord a check? Well, the management company I deal with specifically requested cash. The irony of the situation is that I NEVER have cash on me. I'm one of those people who uses her debit card for everything. My paycheck is direct deposited into my account, I pay my bills online or by check.. I just pretty much never have cash on me.. The one day that I do, I get robbed.

He was slick too, you know? He bumped into me in Walgreens Parking lot... I'd stopped by there on my way to work so I could grab a drink real quick... When he bumped into me, I'd bought the drink and was heading back to my car. I remember wondering why dude had on a winter coat on such a hot day, but I didn't really give it much thought. Had he been in the store when I bought my drink, I'd say maybe he saw the cash and targeted me. Had I not used an ATM miles away from that particular store, I'd say maybe he saw me make the withdrawal and followed... It was just one of those fucking random things that happen....

I didn't even realize it at first. After the collision, he apologized and we each went our separate ways... I was about two steps from my car when I realized how light my purse felt... I looked in it just to make sure everything is as it should be, but nothing is... My frigging organizer's gone...it's not a little one either. It's big and bulky with tons of papers, cards, receipts, and all sorts of crap in it... HOW did he do that? HOW did I not know? HOW did I not feel it?

The second I realize what's happened, I start to look around for him. By this time, dude's long gone. I comb the entire lot looking for him... I even went back into the store.. Nothing. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know who to call... I just stood there watching the cars at the light. Finally, it hit me that I should cancel my cards... I jump in my car, grab my cellphone and call my bank. The debit card is cancelled, check book is voided. After about a million and one 411 calls, I get all the credit card company numbers, and call them as well... I then call my boss, tell her what happened, and ask to go to the Police Station to file a report... She's understanding, she says to take as long as I need to...

All this while right, I'm eerily calm. It's weird... I'm not crying, I'm not swearing... I'm not anything. I'm just dead calm. I turn up the radio in my car and listen to the DJs banter back and forth for a while. When I get to the police station, I tell them what happened, they take my statement. Everything in their demeanor says 'Tough luck, take better care next time", but they go through the motions with me. I'm asked if I can describe the 'suspect'... No...I hardly glanced at him. Plus he had on a baseball cap and a humongous winter jacket. "Do you remember what color his jacket was...? Do you remember what color his hat was...? Did he have an accent?... Do you remember his race/ethnicity?... Are you sure you didn't leave it on the counter at the register...?"

Tons of questions. I realized as I answered their questions that I hadn't been exaggerating at all. I really didn't look at the dude.. He was just another human being that had bumped into me... I could recollect absolutely nothing about him... No distinguishing feature, nothing... If he was to walk right by me and look me in the eyes, I probably wouldn't recognize him... I wish I'd looked at him... I'd remember. I never, ever forget a face... It's a thing with me...

Anyway, after he's exhausted his list of questions, the cop leans back and looks at me. He doesn't even have to say anything... it's a lost cause, and we both know it. I thank him for his time, he thanks me for mine and promises to call if he finds anything out, but he and I know that I'll never get that call... I walk back to my car and just sit in it for a couple of seconds... Oddly enough, still no major emotional break down. I haven't cried, I haven't yelled, I haven't done anything.

I'm aware that I have NO clue how I'll be paying my rent. I'm aware that in one morning, my ENTIRE budget has been thrown wildly off... I'm aware that if I don't pay my rent by the 1st, I get an extra $50 tacked on... I'm aware that thanks to that scumbag, I have NO access to any money at all.. I can't use the ATM machine till I get a new card. "In about 7 -10 days business days" the customer service chick had quipped when I had asked. I can't write checks because that was my last book... I have to wait to get a new box sent out to me...yep. You guessed it. "In about 7 -10 business days". The same story goes for my credit cards... Shit, I can't even make a withdrawal from the bank branch... I don't have ID... I could go to the DMV to get a new license, but wait... that costs money which I can't get 'cause I don't have an ID... Still though... I was strangely calm.

I drove to work in a sort of daze. Don't get me wrong; I was definitely upset. I think I was just hesitant to actually give in to whatever feelings I had brewing inside of me because I was terrified that if I started crying or something, I wouldn't be able to stop. When I got to work, I talked to my boss for a couple of minutes... She expressed her sympathy and shakes her head at the 'boldness' of thieves today... I nod back... you know how it goes...

I walk into my cube and sit down at my desk. After my PC loads, I open up all necessary programs and start my daily tasks... I work with numbers... tons of data in excel and access, and details are VERY important, so I had to focus. After I'd worked for a while, I decide to check my 'myspace' page because I'd written someone the day before, and I wanted to know if I had gotten a response. I log in, and it tells me I have new messages. "Cool", I think. I click on my Inbox, and I find myself staring at a message from my ex. Subject line: "Hey Sexy...".

O...K...? I sit there staring at it for a while. Confused as all hell. This is my ex Jimi, and we hardly ever speak anymore. Actually, we don't. I haven't heard from him in a hot minute, so 'why' I'm staring at a message from him, I don't know... I take a deep breath and open it up. After reading the first line, it's apparent that the message is not intended for me. He's sent me his new girlfriend's message by mistake... I calmly finish reading it, hit 'reply', type "Wrong girl", and send it to him. After that, I delete the message from my Inbox and keep doing my work... It must be freaking 'Random Shit That Can Happen To Monie' day or something, no?

Still though, I keep working... Doing what I have to do... About an hour or so later, my cell phone starts vibrating. I answer it, and its the HR lady at this company I'd applied to a while back... They've had me in for FOUR interviews thus far, and with each one, I find myself getting even more excited and confident about getting the position. Anyway, she calls to tell me that even though I was the front runner for it, they have unfortunately decided not to go ahead with the hiring process. Apparently, they will not be filling the position till next year.

And 'that', was the straw that broke the camel's back. I'd had enough. WHAT did I do? HOW am I having all this shit happen to me on the SAME freaking day?!! I ask my manager if I can take a minute, and she says to take all the time I want... I grab my phone and go sit in my car. I desperately want/need to talk to someone, but I don't know who. I make a couple of phone calls and talk to a bunch of my friends... then I head back inside.

The rest of day goes by in a blur... I go over to my sisters for dinner..Hang out with my niece and nephew, come home, put my son to bed, then just sit. I go over the events of the day about a million and one times... Trying to make some sense of things... Trying to figure out what my options are...how to rectify my predicament. I want to scream... I want to cry... Instead I just sit. I don't even turn the TV on. The longer I'm sitting there, the more upset I'm getting, and I just know that I'm about to break down. I decide to go to bed and watch a movie that'll help me forget.. at least temporarily... Before I go in, I grab my camera and take a quick snapshot of my face... I do that a lot actually. Whenever I find myself experiencing an especially intense emotion (whether it be anger, happiness, sadness, excitement...whatever), I always take a quick picture... I do it with/to people around me as well...

(You'll be amazed at how much emotion one can capture with a camera... Especially when said emotion is so strong that it can't be hidden by/with a pose or a smile... It's quite interesting actually.... I have a whole library of emotion-filled faces. Its pretty cool. I have to say that I find anger the most intriguing emotion yet. It literally shines right through the eyes... I don't care how much you try, you can never hide genuine anger. It will ALWAYS show in the eyes... The eyes are MOST DEFINITELY the windows to the soul...)

Yeah... I was miserable.

Anyway, I head into my room and proceed to watch Pan's Labyrinth again... I needed to lose myself in something, and that movie was it... It took me away from my apartment, took me away from all the shit I was dealing with... It was great... Much needed escape.

So now its 1:18 AM Saturday morning. I'm glad I can write about all that now... It's how I know I'm OK. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be able to write about it... It's just money, right? Yes, I literally had to call everyone I knew for a loan... Yes, I had to grovel a couple of times, but you know what? its fine... Life goes on... :=) There's worse things that can happen to a person... In all things, give thanks. :=)

He's URBALIST! If you're around Atlanta, tell your friends...