My uncle died on Friday... He was 52 years old. Being that he was unmarried with no kids, he died all by himself in his house, and was only discovered when his alarmed house keeper had his front door broken down because he wouldn't respond to her calls. Apparently, she could see him lying on his couch in front of the TV...
His death left my mom the only surviving member of her immediate family. In the past four years my mom has lost her father and all three of her brothers... She's had to stand in front of four different open coffins, and stare at the corpses of the people she's called 'family' for all her life. All of them died unexpected deaths too... Except my grandfather, I guess... He lived a very full, fulfilled life... Didn't make his death any less painful though, you know?
What must that be like, I wonder? Knowing that you're the last surviving member of your family? Don't get me wrong; My other two uncles had children... two girls and a boy, and my mom has my sister and I... Still though, it's not the same...
I don't know... Its been a weird, emotional weekend for me... Ups and downs galore, and I just had to write something about this...
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
About Michael, Angela, and a broken heart...
The events in this post took place about three weeks ago... I was so affected by said events that I went home and wrote about all that happened... Well, I just saw something on TV that reminded me of that day, so I figured I'd put the post up/on here. FYI: This is NOT made up. It's a true story.
Wednesday April 04, 2006.
The craziest thing happened to me after work today. I was standing in line at this little store close to my house when a couple walked up to join the line.. Looking at them, I'd say they were both in their teens.. He had his arm around her, and she had her head sort of resting on his shoulder. They got in line behind me and promptly started making out...
At first, I did what was expected, and politely diverted my eyes... I'd glance at the cashier (who appeared to be a trainee on his first day working the register) behind the counter and sigh impatiently from time to time... I glance at the couple every now and then and chuckle in that good-natured/understanding way we tend to when faced with young love...
My amusement however, rapidly turns to bewilderment, fascination, and awe, as I realize (after about three straight minutes) that neither of the kids has come up for air. His arm is wrapped tightly around her waist, and both her arms equally as tight around his neck. Wow...
I'm blatantly staring at them both and find myself having to fight the increasing urge to forcefully pry them apart just to check their vitals...
"Can I help you?"
It's the cashier telling me its my turn... I turn around to face him and plop my items on the counter. I'm looking in my purse for my card when I realize that my items are not moving... They're not getting scanned... I look up at the cashier, and he too, seems to be in some kind of shock... He's standing there staring at them with THE most incredible look on his face... I'm not sure what it is exactly, but its not the kind of look you'd expect to see on the face of one watching a random couple make out.
He seems completely frozen and unable to move and I could swear that his jaw is twitching.
"Um... I'm ready..", I murmur..
No response.
"Hello..!?", I say quite loudly... I'd go as far as saying I 'yelled quietly'... (Yes, I'm aware its an oxymoron)...
No response.
"HELLO!"... Definitely a yell.
He starts a little and looks at me as though seeing me for the first time.
"I'd like to pay for these please..." I start to say, when I notice he's no longer there. I look around and see him walking around the long counter to come to where we were all standing in line...um... ok... I'm starting to get a little freaked out.. (not to mention freaking pissed)...
He walks slowly up to the couple making out and taps the girl on her shoulder... She reluctantly disentagles herself from the boy whose face she was just latched on to (seemingly for dear life), and turns around with a love filled smile on her face. That look changes instantly to shock when she sees who has just tapped her...
Girl: "Oh my God!", Oh my God!, Oh my God!! She shrieks in very rapid succession. Michael, what are you doing here??!!!
Cashier: "I work here now. My mom said I had to get a job if I wanted my 4 wheeler!... What are YOU doing here Angela??! You told me you were going by Karens!!!, and WHO THE FUCK IS HE?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Oh....shit.
The cashier (Michael) pretty much bellows out the last question, spraying all of us in close proximity thoroughly and liberally with spit... He's a mess, and is so emotional/hysterical, his entire body is shaking. She seems to be faring no better, and has fallen to her knees sobbing... The earlier object of her affection has taken a step back and seems to have blended in with the growing crowd of onlookers...
All us customers seem to have lost our ability to function, and for a couple of seconds, all you hear in that store are the sounds Michael and Angela make as they cry... It was freaking surreal. Finally, a door in the back bursts open, and out comes an older (early 30s) woman wiping her mouth with a napkin... 'Boss lady's' lunch has apparently been interrupted.
To her credit, she handled the situation very well. She walks up to Michael and asks him in a very calm (yet firm voice) to please go have a seat in the back room. In the same tone, she asks Angela to please get up off the floor and either wait in line to pay for the Pringles shes holding, or put them down and leave quietly... Turning to the rest of us customers (we'd about doubled by this time), she apologizes profusely for what we've witnessed and thanks us for our patience.
As quickly as the drama started, it's ended... The manager is quick and efficient, and in less than five minutes, my transaction has been completed. I stall for a couple of seconds, trying to see if Michael would come storming out of the room, or if the obviously distraught Angela would do something drastic... nope... Nothing...
I thank the lady and walk slowly to my car. As I lean back in the seat to ponder everything I've just seen, I spy Michael on the far side of the building quietly smoking a cigarette... He flicks the stog, puts his head in his hands, and from the way his shoulders are heaving, I can tell he's crying... hard... He can't be more than 16 or 17, but he looks even younger as he sits there on the curb...
Seeing him like that brings back a bunch of old, repressed, painful memories... Memories that hit me with such an intensity that I'm stunned, as I sit there in the quiet of my car... Once again, I feel that ache in my chest... that hurt in my heart... Its so real its palpable.. I take a deep breath and lean my head back on the head rest. I want to walk over to him and tell him he'll be ok... I want to walk over to him and hug him really tight... I want to walk over to him and cry with him... I want to do a lot of things, but I just sit there and watch him cry...
I'm home now... thinking over that whole situation... Thinking about Michael and Angela, and wonder if they made up... I'm remembering the look on his face as he stared at them... I'm remembering how it feels to be hurt... That very painful, almost suffocating feeling you get in your chest and throat when you discover a loved or trusted one in the very act of betrayal...
When you think about it after, you convince yourself that your inability to breathe at that very moment of discovery couldn't have been real... you convince yourself that it was your mind playing tricks on you... something psychological... I don't know... it felt freaking real to me... I felt like someone had slammed a heavy boulder into my chest and knocked me to the ground...
Its late ... its past midnight, and my mind is just plain tired... I should go to bed...
Wednesday April 04, 2006.
The craziest thing happened to me after work today. I was standing in line at this little store close to my house when a couple walked up to join the line.. Looking at them, I'd say they were both in their teens.. He had his arm around her, and she had her head sort of resting on his shoulder. They got in line behind me and promptly started making out...
At first, I did what was expected, and politely diverted my eyes... I'd glance at the cashier (who appeared to be a trainee on his first day working the register) behind the counter and sigh impatiently from time to time... I glance at the couple every now and then and chuckle in that good-natured/understanding way we tend to when faced with young love...
My amusement however, rapidly turns to bewilderment, fascination, and awe, as I realize (after about three straight minutes) that neither of the kids has come up for air. His arm is wrapped tightly around her waist, and both her arms equally as tight around his neck. Wow...
I'm blatantly staring at them both and find myself having to fight the increasing urge to forcefully pry them apart just to check their vitals...
"Can I help you?"
It's the cashier telling me its my turn... I turn around to face him and plop my items on the counter. I'm looking in my purse for my card when I realize that my items are not moving... They're not getting scanned... I look up at the cashier, and he too, seems to be in some kind of shock... He's standing there staring at them with THE most incredible look on his face... I'm not sure what it is exactly, but its not the kind of look you'd expect to see on the face of one watching a random couple make out.
He seems completely frozen and unable to move and I could swear that his jaw is twitching.
"Um... I'm ready..", I murmur..
No response.
"Hello..!?", I say quite loudly... I'd go as far as saying I 'yelled quietly'... (Yes, I'm aware its an oxymoron)...
No response.
"HELLO!"... Definitely a yell.
He starts a little and looks at me as though seeing me for the first time.
"I'd like to pay for these please..." I start to say, when I notice he's no longer there. I look around and see him walking around the long counter to come to where we were all standing in line...um... ok... I'm starting to get a little freaked out.. (not to mention freaking pissed)...
He walks slowly up to the couple making out and taps the girl on her shoulder... She reluctantly disentagles herself from the boy whose face she was just latched on to (seemingly for dear life), and turns around with a love filled smile on her face. That look changes instantly to shock when she sees who has just tapped her...
Girl: "Oh my God!", Oh my God!, Oh my God!! She shrieks in very rapid succession. Michael, what are you doing here??!!!
Cashier: "I work here now. My mom said I had to get a job if I wanted my 4 wheeler!... What are YOU doing here Angela??! You told me you were going by Karens!!!, and WHO THE FUCK IS HE?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Oh....shit.
The cashier (Michael) pretty much bellows out the last question, spraying all of us in close proximity thoroughly and liberally with spit... He's a mess, and is so emotional/hysterical, his entire body is shaking. She seems to be faring no better, and has fallen to her knees sobbing... The earlier object of her affection has taken a step back and seems to have blended in with the growing crowd of onlookers...
All us customers seem to have lost our ability to function, and for a couple of seconds, all you hear in that store are the sounds Michael and Angela make as they cry... It was freaking surreal. Finally, a door in the back bursts open, and out comes an older (early 30s) woman wiping her mouth with a napkin... 'Boss lady's' lunch has apparently been interrupted.
To her credit, she handled the situation very well. She walks up to Michael and asks him in a very calm (yet firm voice) to please go have a seat in the back room. In the same tone, she asks Angela to please get up off the floor and either wait in line to pay for the Pringles shes holding, or put them down and leave quietly... Turning to the rest of us customers (we'd about doubled by this time), she apologizes profusely for what we've witnessed and thanks us for our patience.
As quickly as the drama started, it's ended... The manager is quick and efficient, and in less than five minutes, my transaction has been completed. I stall for a couple of seconds, trying to see if Michael would come storming out of the room, or if the obviously distraught Angela would do something drastic... nope... Nothing...
I thank the lady and walk slowly to my car. As I lean back in the seat to ponder everything I've just seen, I spy Michael on the far side of the building quietly smoking a cigarette... He flicks the stog, puts his head in his hands, and from the way his shoulders are heaving, I can tell he's crying... hard... He can't be more than 16 or 17, but he looks even younger as he sits there on the curb...
Seeing him like that brings back a bunch of old, repressed, painful memories... Memories that hit me with such an intensity that I'm stunned, as I sit there in the quiet of my car... Once again, I feel that ache in my chest... that hurt in my heart... Its so real its palpable.. I take a deep breath and lean my head back on the head rest. I want to walk over to him and tell him he'll be ok... I want to walk over to him and hug him really tight... I want to walk over to him and cry with him... I want to do a lot of things, but I just sit there and watch him cry...
I'm home now... thinking over that whole situation... Thinking about Michael and Angela, and wonder if they made up... I'm remembering the look on his face as he stared at them... I'm remembering how it feels to be hurt... That very painful, almost suffocating feeling you get in your chest and throat when you discover a loved or trusted one in the very act of betrayal...
When you think about it after, you convince yourself that your inability to breathe at that very moment of discovery couldn't have been real... you convince yourself that it was your mind playing tricks on you... something psychological... I don't know... it felt freaking real to me... I felt like someone had slammed a heavy boulder into my chest and knocked me to the ground...
Its late ... its past midnight, and my mind is just plain tired... I should go to bed...
Friday, April 20, 2007
Ugh...
I've been terribly sick... My throat hurts, my head hurts, my neck aches (I didn't even think that possible), my arms ache... every movable part of my body is in agonizing pain... even the parts that don't move ache dully... *sigh*...
I'll be updating this weekend... hopefully, I feel better by then... *groan*... I want my mom.
I'll be updating this weekend... hopefully, I feel better by then... *groan*... I want my mom.
Monday, April 16, 2007
First Post
Not sure what to write on here at this particular moment, but I'm quite certain things will pick up. For now, I'm just going to write these couple of sentences, and go work on my dashboard profile... To quote Arnold in T2, "Ah'll Bee Bahck".
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