ITS TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm straight freaking. I've been waiting for tonight FOREVER, and I can't believe that it's finally here!!!!! YAY!!! Its the Season Finale of The Sopranos tonight. My goodness, the anticipation is driving me insane! Who dies? Does Phil Leotardo and his posse get wiped out? Does Tony Soprano get whacked? (Ooh, I hope not, I'll be PISSED!)... What happens with A.J and his depression? Meadow? How about Sylvio? Does he recover? How about Dr. Melfi? What happens with her?! In that preview (that showed absolutely NOTHING!), they all seem to be looking up at something... what ARE they looking at? Does something blow up? Does someone fly off? ...The questions are endless...*sigh*... I'm trying REALLY hard to stay calm....


.... AAAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!


I said 'trying'...

Randomness

..Told you it was random.

"Josh's brother Ethan said so..."

"Mommy, what does 'tap that' mean?"

This was the question my six year old Jacob asked me on the way home today. I just had picked him from school and he was telling me about his day. How we went from talking about dinner to him asking this, I have no clue. All I know is one minute, we weighing the pros and cons of vegetables, the next, he's asking something about 'tapping that'.

"Huh?!"

"Well Josh's brother Ethan wants to 'tap that' with their neighbor."

Oh. Josh's brother Ethan. *sigh*. Josh is one of Jacob's best friends at daycare. He's a pretty nice kid... cute too. OK, remember that little boy that was on 'The Cosby Show'? Kenny? The one who'd preface every sentence with "My brother says..."...? Well, that's Jacob's friend Josh. Josh is six years old with a 19 year old brother named Ethan.... I've met the kid a couple of times... Anyway, Josh like adores his big brother and hangs on his every word... I don't think that Ethan actually sits and talks with Josh about a lot of things that he (Josh) says... I just think people should watch what they say around their children/siblings...

Since hanging out with Josh, Jacob has come home with stories/questions about:

how the doctor stuck a "HUMONGOUS q-tip in Josh's mouth so they could get some of his spit... now his dad just 'has' to pay child support!"...

Boobs. I was informed that "Josh's brother Ethan" is a 'boob man'... "What's that mean mommy? He likes boobs?... why?"

"Jessica Alba is the most beautiful woman in the world... uh huh... " (he nods emphatically)... "Josh said his brother Ethan says so".... Five minutes later, and most definitely an afterthought: "I think you're beautiful too, mommy... " *big smile*..."

So basically you get the idea...they all talk about everything in front of the kid, and he just soaks it all up... well, in bits and pieces, I guess... anyway, the kid is really nice though.. you know? ... He's polite and friendly...Kinda even feel bad for him... poor kid must be confused as all hell...

*sigh*... "Well, it just means Josh's brother Ethan would like to get to know their neighbor better... Wait.. how do you even know this?"

"Josh heard his brother Ethan talking about their neighbor on the phone and he was saying he wants to tap that... "

"Oh... Well, - ..."

- "Mommy, If he wants to get to know her better, why doesn't he just say that...? Why does he say 'tap that'?..."

"Hmm... Well, it's sort of another way of saying that...Not the best way... just another way"

"Is it a bad word..?"

"Well..not technically... It's a slang"

"Can I say it?"

"No."

"But you said its not a bad word... Can I please say it?"

"No."

Our conversation did not end there. This is just where I'm choosing to stop writing about the exchange because a second or two after that last "No", our conversation promptly evolved into a highly frustrating, extremely redundant verbal loop. One question after the other after the other after the other after the other after the other...

Even after my explanation (which I'm convinced went in one ear and out the other), he still tried to change my mind about him saying it. "I'll make sure I don't talk about any girls when I say it mommy... Promise.. only to my friends... The boys.. That won't be disrespectful... right mommy?"

Huh... what do you know? He 'was' listening.... kinda. It was shortly after this that I threatened to take his game boy away for a week if he mentioned another word about saying it... Things were fine (and quiet) after that... lol.

A little bit of randomness:

I just saw 'The Curse of the Golden Flower'...

I promise that you've NEVER seen anything like it. I'm willing to wager a lot of things on that promise... I know I haven't... My head's still reeling, and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing... It's single handedly the most visually lavish movie I have EVER seen. Bar none. It was amazing... Sometimes I felt like I was watching a painting come alive.

If he was looking to dazzle his audience with the most vibrant, lumionous colors one could possibly imagine, allow me give him a standing ovation. Mission accomplished... I seriously don't even know what to say... Did I like it...? For the most part: "Hell Yeah!!"... For the most part. He went a little over the top with some of the special effects and slow motion shots, and sometimes I didn't know whether to gasp in awe or chuckle in disbelief..

This director guy directed both 'Hero' and 'House of Flying Daggers', and if you've seen those movies, you know of that feeling one gets whilst watching a PERFECTLY choreographed fight scene.... This movie outdoes those two when it comes to all of that... I have to say that even though I'd rather not see anything gold or yellow for a while (the entire movie was draped in those colors), I have nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for the mind that was able to put such a visually magnificent piece together... In my opinion, the previews do it no justice.

PS: If you're planning to see this movie and you have a high def TV, I'm terribly jealous 'cause you're in for a treat...

PPS: How am I not able to get the chorus of Rihanna's 'Umbrella' out of my head?! All night I've been bursting out with random cries of "Under my umbrella, -ella ella eh eh eh"... *sigh*. Damn those catchy ass hooks!

Oh before I forget, THERE'S ONLY ONE EPISODE OF THE SOPRANOS LEFT!!!!!!! I'm freaking... the anticipation is killing me!

My cousin looking gorgeous as usual... I've been thinking about her all day so I'm showing love... :=) "Missing you like crazy sweetie! Oh and if you see this before I get to work tomorrow, prepare yourself for my email. I dey vex... Upon all your mouth, you no call mumsie.... Razz girl." lol.

My Neighbors Are Fighting

And I can hear them loud and clear... it started about fifteen or twenty minutes ago, and they both seem to be getting even more angry by the second. It's crazy... They're above me so I can hear them stomping from room to room as they yell. She's freaking out about something... One minute she's crying, the next she's screaming... He keeps yelling "What did you want me to do? I didn't have a choice!!"

Nuts... They're usually pretty quiet too. Just the other day, I was watching them as they were going out, thinking how cute and happy they looked as a couple... they were making out and everything...

.. I think she just threw something 'cause I heard it shatter... Damn. Watch, someone's going to call the cops... I'm surprised they haven't come around yet...

I'm going to bed... As loud and as fierce as their fight is, their 'make up sex' is bound to be equally as intense... I'd rather not be awake for that...

7 Things You Didn't Know...

First off, if you're in your late twenties to early thirties and you happen to be reading this, you'd probably remember the song playing... 'Pass The Dutchie' by Musical Youth. You guys remember this song, right? I remember that I used to watch the video all the time. I used to think they were so cool for disrupting the courtroom with their music... Hopefully at least one person remembers the song... :=)


Ok.. Per Idemmili, here are 7 Things you probably didn't know about me:

1. I'm a border-line insomniac. I find that I have to force myself to go to bed every night. On very rare occasions, I'll pass out early because I'm exhausted... VERY rare occasions. Usually, I'll stay up all night if I don't make myself go to bed. During the week, I have to follow a very strict regiment that puts me lying on my bed with the lights out by midnight at the very latest. If I don't do that, I won't go to sleep. I'll just stay up doing one thing or another... I mean, it's 5:05 AM right now and I'm still wide awake...

2. I'm an avid News reader. I read the news constantly... I frequent msnbc.com, fox.com, cnn.com, nypost.com, washingtonpost.com and turntoten.com... The last one's the local Providence news... I have all six stations bookmarked online, and visit each one God only knows how many times during the day... I never thought the day would come when I'd actually read or watch the news, but I really do... I must be getting old.

3. I can't be around loud or talkative people for a long period of time. They irritate and annoy me. These are the people who are able to carry on conversations (meaningful or not) for hours on end. Long winded as all hell. What they can say in two sentences, they'll say with 15... How about the 'loud talkers'? The ones who completely miss the concept of the 'inside voice'... they yell out their words at you even when you're standing right next to death... Yep... Well, I can take them in little doses but that's it. After I've been around them for a while at a time, I feel myself start to lose it... If they're loud and talkative enough, I start to have physical reactions... really. I get cranky, snappy, sweaty, and start to feel like I'm suffocating. Almost like someone who's claustrophobic would feel if he/she were locked in a closet...

4. When it comes to romance, I'm pathetically cliche. I love romance and everything about it. I love those butterflies in the belly when you meet someone new...How you wake up and can't wait to call them just to say "hi".. I love to kiss... I love the first kiss... how special it usually is... Especially when its with someone you have a great connection with... you know? That slow way you kiss, the way you hold each other... how you smile when you move away, because it just feels so... right... All of that... I love that. I cry when I watch romance movies... I mean, I 'really' cry... As in all out bawling... I could watch the same movie a million and one times, and I'll still cry each and every time at the exact same scenes... Even mushy Hallmark commercials make me cry... lol.. I enjoy the back and forth courting process... I savor it... I love the way I giggle and roll over when I'm laying in bed thinking about him.. lol.. I love to check my phone for new texts... email for new messages... I love those first months when everything is just copacetic...ALL of that and more, I love... I'm most definitely a hopeless romantic... :=)...

5. I'm very attracted to confident men...Not cocky.. confident (the line that separates those two is VERY thin and sometimes blurry)... They're like walking aphrodisiacs to me...

6. I have the Closed Caption feature on my TV turned on at all times... When I watch movies, I immediately turn on the subtitles... It's definitely one of my eccentricities, but its a habit that I have. I make exceptions when I have company of course... Other than that though, I just love it. There's something comforting about reading the words they're speaking.

7. I love William Shakespeare's 'Macbeth'. Its one of my favorite plays of all time. It intrigues the heck out of me and I never tire of reading it... The plot, the underlying evil in the characters... the intricacies of the human mind and its ability to use one's greed as an ingredient to turn a want into a need, then a full on obsession... I could read that play a million times... The characters all intrigue for different reasons...

These were the seven I could come up with off the dome... Are they important...? I doubt it.. Still though, it didn't say '7 important things about you'... Nope..It said 7 things you didn't know.. :=) It's now 5:38 AM... I should go to bed... In the meantime, rock on to 'Musical Youth'... :=)

When It Rains ....

I got pick pocketed yesterday. Some bastard of a man bumped into me and stole my organizer right out of my purse. In that organizer was $800 cash that I'd JUST withdrawn from the ATM, my credit cards, store cards, license, medical cards, business cards, checkbook, and pictures of my son... Why did I have $800 in my purse? Well, I was going to stop by and pay my rent on my way back from work... Why didn't I write my landlord a check? Well, the management company I deal with specifically requested cash. The irony of the situation is that I NEVER have cash on me. I'm one of those people who uses her debit card for everything. My paycheck is direct deposited into my account, I pay my bills online or by check.. I just pretty much never have cash on me.. The one day that I do, I get robbed.

He was slick too, you know? He bumped into me in Walgreens Parking lot... I'd stopped by there on my way to work so I could grab a drink real quick... When he bumped into me, I'd bought the drink and was heading back to my car. I remember wondering why dude had on a winter coat on such a hot day, but I didn't really give it much thought. Had he been in the store when I bought my drink, I'd say maybe he saw the cash and targeted me. Had I not used an ATM miles away from that particular store, I'd say maybe he saw me make the withdrawal and followed... It was just one of those fucking random things that happen....

I didn't even realize it at first. After the collision, he apologized and we each went our separate ways... I was about two steps from my car when I realized how light my purse felt... I looked in it just to make sure everything is as it should be, but nothing is... My frigging organizer's gone...it's not a little one either. It's big and bulky with tons of papers, cards, receipts, and all sorts of crap in it... HOW did he do that? HOW did I not know? HOW did I not feel it?

The second I realize what's happened, I start to look around for him. By this time, dude's long gone. I comb the entire lot looking for him... I even went back into the store.. Nothing. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know who to call... I just stood there watching the cars at the light. Finally, it hit me that I should cancel my cards... I jump in my car, grab my cellphone and call my bank. The debit card is cancelled, check book is voided. After about a million and one 411 calls, I get all the credit card company numbers, and call them as well... I then call my boss, tell her what happened, and ask to go to the Police Station to file a report... She's understanding, she says to take as long as I need to...

All this while right, I'm eerily calm. It's weird... I'm not crying, I'm not swearing... I'm not anything. I'm just dead calm. I turn up the radio in my car and listen to the DJs banter back and forth for a while. When I get to the police station, I tell them what happened, they take my statement. Everything in their demeanor says 'Tough luck, take better care next time", but they go through the motions with me. I'm asked if I can describe the 'suspect'... No...I hardly glanced at him. Plus he had on a baseball cap and a humongous winter jacket. "Do you remember what color his jacket was...? Do you remember what color his hat was...? Did he have an accent?... Do you remember his race/ethnicity?... Are you sure you didn't leave it on the counter at the register...?"

Tons of questions. I realized as I answered their questions that I hadn't been exaggerating at all. I really didn't look at the dude.. He was just another human being that had bumped into me... I could recollect absolutely nothing about him... No distinguishing feature, nothing... If he was to walk right by me and look me in the eyes, I probably wouldn't recognize him... I wish I'd looked at him... I'd remember. I never, ever forget a face... It's a thing with me...

Anyway, after he's exhausted his list of questions, the cop leans back and looks at me. He doesn't even have to say anything... it's a lost cause, and we both know it. I thank him for his time, he thanks me for mine and promises to call if he finds anything out, but he and I know that I'll never get that call... I walk back to my car and just sit in it for a couple of seconds... Oddly enough, still no major emotional break down. I haven't cried, I haven't yelled, I haven't done anything.

I'm aware that I have NO clue how I'll be paying my rent. I'm aware that in one morning, my ENTIRE budget has been thrown wildly off... I'm aware that if I don't pay my rent by the 1st, I get an extra $50 tacked on... I'm aware that thanks to that scumbag, I have NO access to any money at all.. I can't use the ATM machine till I get a new card. "In about 7 -10 days business days" the customer service chick had quipped when I had asked. I can't write checks because that was my last book... I have to wait to get a new box sent out to me...yep. You guessed it. "In about 7 -10 business days". The same story goes for my credit cards... Shit, I can't even make a withdrawal from the bank branch... I don't have ID... I could go to the DMV to get a new license, but wait... that costs money which I can't get 'cause I don't have an ID... Still though... I was strangely calm.

I drove to work in a sort of daze. Don't get me wrong; I was definitely upset. I think I was just hesitant to actually give in to whatever feelings I had brewing inside of me because I was terrified that if I started crying or something, I wouldn't be able to stop. When I got to work, I talked to my boss for a couple of minutes... She expressed her sympathy and shakes her head at the 'boldness' of thieves today... I nod back... you know how it goes...

I walk into my cube and sit down at my desk. After my PC loads, I open up all necessary programs and start my daily tasks... I work with numbers... tons of data in excel and access, and details are VERY important, so I had to focus. After I'd worked for a while, I decide to check my 'myspace' page because I'd written someone the day before, and I wanted to know if I had gotten a response. I log in, and it tells me I have new messages. "Cool", I think. I click on my Inbox, and I find myself staring at a message from my ex. Subject line: "Hey Sexy...".

O...K...? I sit there staring at it for a while. Confused as all hell. This is my ex Jimi, and we hardly ever speak anymore. Actually, we don't. I haven't heard from him in a hot minute, so 'why' I'm staring at a message from him, I don't know... I take a deep breath and open it up. After reading the first line, it's apparent that the message is not intended for me. He's sent me his new girlfriend's message by mistake... I calmly finish reading it, hit 'reply', type "Wrong girl", and send it to him. After that, I delete the message from my Inbox and keep doing my work... It must be freaking 'Random Shit That Can Happen To Monie' day or something, no?

Still though, I keep working... Doing what I have to do... About an hour or so later, my cell phone starts vibrating. I answer it, and its the HR lady at this company I'd applied to a while back... They've had me in for FOUR interviews thus far, and with each one, I find myself getting even more excited and confident about getting the position. Anyway, she calls to tell me that even though I was the front runner for it, they have unfortunately decided not to go ahead with the hiring process. Apparently, they will not be filling the position till next year.

And 'that', was the straw that broke the camel's back. I'd had enough. WHAT did I do? HOW am I having all this shit happen to me on the SAME freaking day?!! I ask my manager if I can take a minute, and she says to take all the time I want... I grab my phone and go sit in my car. I desperately want/need to talk to someone, but I don't know who. I make a couple of phone calls and talk to a bunch of my friends... then I head back inside.

The rest of day goes by in a blur... I go over to my sisters for dinner..Hang out with my niece and nephew, come home, put my son to bed, then just sit. I go over the events of the day about a million and one times... Trying to make some sense of things... Trying to figure out what my options are...how to rectify my predicament. I want to scream... I want to cry... Instead I just sit. I don't even turn the TV on. The longer I'm sitting there, the more upset I'm getting, and I just know that I'm about to break down. I decide to go to bed and watch a movie that'll help me forget.. at least temporarily... Before I go in, I grab my camera and take a quick snapshot of my face... I do that a lot actually. Whenever I find myself experiencing an especially intense emotion (whether it be anger, happiness, sadness, excitement...whatever), I always take a quick picture... I do it with/to people around me as well...

(You'll be amazed at how much emotion one can capture with a camera... Especially when said emotion is so strong that it can't be hidden by/with a pose or a smile... It's quite interesting actually.... I have a whole library of emotion-filled faces. Its pretty cool. I have to say that I find anger the most intriguing emotion yet. It literally shines right through the eyes... I don't care how much you try, you can never hide genuine anger. It will ALWAYS show in the eyes... The eyes are MOST DEFINITELY the windows to the soul...)

Yeah... I was miserable.

Anyway, I head into my room and proceed to watch Pan's Labyrinth again... I needed to lose myself in something, and that movie was it... It took me away from my apartment, took me away from all the shit I was dealing with... It was great... Much needed escape.

So now its 1:18 AM Saturday morning. I'm glad I can write about all that now... It's how I know I'm OK. If I wasn't, I wouldn't be able to write about it... It's just money, right? Yes, I literally had to call everyone I knew for a loan... Yes, I had to grovel a couple of times, but you know what? its fine... Life goes on... :=) There's worse things that can happen to a person... In all things, give thanks. :=)

He's URBALIST! If you're around Atlanta, tell your friends...