"Josh's brother Ethan said so..."

"Mommy, what does 'tap that' mean?"

This was the question my six year old Jacob asked me on the way home today. I just had picked him from school and he was telling me about his day. How we went from talking about dinner to him asking this, I have no clue. All I know is one minute, we weighing the pros and cons of vegetables, the next, he's asking something about 'tapping that'.

"Huh?!"

"Well Josh's brother Ethan wants to 'tap that' with their neighbor."

Oh. Josh's brother Ethan. *sigh*. Josh is one of Jacob's best friends at daycare. He's a pretty nice kid... cute too. OK, remember that little boy that was on 'The Cosby Show'? Kenny? The one who'd preface every sentence with "My brother says..."...? Well, that's Jacob's friend Josh. Josh is six years old with a 19 year old brother named Ethan.... I've met the kid a couple of times... Anyway, Josh like adores his big brother and hangs on his every word... I don't think that Ethan actually sits and talks with Josh about a lot of things that he (Josh) says... I just think people should watch what they say around their children/siblings...

Since hanging out with Josh, Jacob has come home with stories/questions about:

how the doctor stuck a "HUMONGOUS q-tip in Josh's mouth so they could get some of his spit... now his dad just 'has' to pay child support!"...

Boobs. I was informed that "Josh's brother Ethan" is a 'boob man'... "What's that mean mommy? He likes boobs?... why?"

"Jessica Alba is the most beautiful woman in the world... uh huh... " (he nods emphatically)... "Josh said his brother Ethan says so".... Five minutes later, and most definitely an afterthought: "I think you're beautiful too, mommy... " *big smile*..."

So basically you get the idea...they all talk about everything in front of the kid, and he just soaks it all up... well, in bits and pieces, I guess... anyway, the kid is really nice though.. you know? ... He's polite and friendly...Kinda even feel bad for him... poor kid must be confused as all hell...

*sigh*... "Well, it just means Josh's brother Ethan would like to get to know their neighbor better... Wait.. how do you even know this?"

"Josh heard his brother Ethan talking about their neighbor on the phone and he was saying he wants to tap that... "

"Oh... Well, - ..."

- "Mommy, If he wants to get to know her better, why doesn't he just say that...? Why does he say 'tap that'?..."

"Hmm... Well, it's sort of another way of saying that...Not the best way... just another way"

"Is it a bad word..?"

"Well..not technically... It's a slang"

"Can I say it?"

"No."

"But you said its not a bad word... Can I please say it?"

"No."

Our conversation did not end there. This is just where I'm choosing to stop writing about the exchange because a second or two after that last "No", our conversation promptly evolved into a highly frustrating, extremely redundant verbal loop. One question after the other after the other after the other after the other after the other...

Even after my explanation (which I'm convinced went in one ear and out the other), he still tried to change my mind about him saying it. "I'll make sure I don't talk about any girls when I say it mommy... Promise.. only to my friends... The boys.. That won't be disrespectful... right mommy?"

Huh... what do you know? He 'was' listening.... kinda. It was shortly after this that I threatened to take his game boy away for a week if he mentioned another word about saying it... Things were fine (and quiet) after that... lol.

A little bit of randomness:

I just saw 'The Curse of the Golden Flower'...

I promise that you've NEVER seen anything like it. I'm willing to wager a lot of things on that promise... I know I haven't... My head's still reeling, and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing... It's single handedly the most visually lavish movie I have EVER seen. Bar none. It was amazing... Sometimes I felt like I was watching a painting come alive.

If he was looking to dazzle his audience with the most vibrant, lumionous colors one could possibly imagine, allow me give him a standing ovation. Mission accomplished... I seriously don't even know what to say... Did I like it...? For the most part: "Hell Yeah!!"... For the most part. He went a little over the top with some of the special effects and slow motion shots, and sometimes I didn't know whether to gasp in awe or chuckle in disbelief..

This director guy directed both 'Hero' and 'House of Flying Daggers', and if you've seen those movies, you know of that feeling one gets whilst watching a PERFECTLY choreographed fight scene.... This movie outdoes those two when it comes to all of that... I have to say that even though I'd rather not see anything gold or yellow for a while (the entire movie was draped in those colors), I have nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for the mind that was able to put such a visually magnificent piece together... In my opinion, the previews do it no justice.

PS: If you're planning to see this movie and you have a high def TV, I'm terribly jealous 'cause you're in for a treat...

PPS: How am I not able to get the chorus of Rihanna's 'Umbrella' out of my head?! All night I've been bursting out with random cries of "Under my umbrella, -ella ella eh eh eh"... *sigh*. Damn those catchy ass hooks!

Oh before I forget, THERE'S ONLY ONE EPISODE OF THE SOPRANOS LEFT!!!!!!! I'm freaking... the anticipation is killing me!

My cousin looking gorgeous as usual... I've been thinking about her all day so I'm showing love... :=) "Missing you like crazy sweetie! Oh and if you see this before I get to work tomorrow, prepare yourself for my email. I dey vex... Upon all your mouth, you no call mumsie.... Razz girl." lol.