Midnight Ramble...

I read today that NBC Universal will be paying $925 million for Oxygen Media. For some bizarre reason this struck me as hilarious, and I spent the next five to seven minutes laughing so hard I was panting for breath when I was done...

The thought of Oprah Winfrey getting 'even' richer struck me at the moment, as the funniest thing I'd heard in a really long time. Yes she's only part owner, but you know she's still making bank with this acquisition.

What must that be like? Really... To be that wealthy. Not only that, but to be as respected and powerful as she is. As I sit here writing this, I can't even fathom what that must feel like. To log into any one of your online accounts to view balances with numbers that would be followed with (at the very, VERY least) five zeroes.

When you think about going clothes shopping, it never crosses your mind to "just head to the mall"... lol... (Can you imagine that? Oprah at the mall?.lol.. Yeah, I'm cracking up too). Grocery shopping or laundry are 'mundanes' that you just never do. Ever. I mean, I fail to see what possible scenario could play out in the life of Oprah that'd have her heading to the supermarket or downstairs to the basement to "throw a load in"...

Can you possibly imagine being so wealthy that the issues you deal with in regards to going on a luxury vacation usually have to do with what part of the world you'd like to take it in?

I'm sitting in my tiny two bedroom apartment writing this. I look around and I take in the television in the corner, the movies neatly shelved on the rack against the wall... My desk that I got at Target last summer on sale for $14.99... My tiny loveseat that I hate, but can't throw out till I get a replacement... The paintings on the wall... My camera on the ledge...I hear the rain outside through my open living room window...The TV's muted so it's quiet..I take a deep breath, shut my eyes, and dare to imagine...

*sigh*... If only for one day, I would LOVE to know that feeling. I would love to be so rich that when you ever have issues that concern or worry you, regardless of time, location or situation, it is NEVER about money.

People say money doesn't buy happiness... I agree. I get it. But you know what? I'm sitting right now at 2:32am and when I list all the issues that have kept me up this late, every single one of them has to with some kind of money situation. All of them. The thoughts go through my head constantly... you know? Like those News scrolls that run at the bottom of the screen on the News Stations....

"I have to remember to make the car payment.......Shit, I forgot to call the gas company about the budget plan......*sigh*... That's another $110 for 'The boys & Girls Club' payment........I have to put gas in the car tomorrow... I hope $20 lasts me a while this time.....I should write that note to myself about picking up some milk tomorrow.....Ok.. I got the student loans done for this month.... If we're going to have family night on Friday and order a pizza, we can't eat out tomorrow...Wait, did I put the $3.00 I spent at DD down on the budget sheet?..."

And it goes on and on and on and on. I'm aware that the more money a person has, the more problems they get. Yes, we're all aware. Biggie made that crystal. Experience, Books, Tales of Woe. Yeah, I get it. My practical, sensible side gets it. Try as I might to block it out though, I still hear that tiny voice of discontent as it whispers in my ear. "Still though....." I count my very many blessings; I'm healthy, my son's healthy, my family's healthy. "Still though...." I I remind myself that a lot of people would be thankful to have some things I do. "Still though...." I do a mental check of all the recent good things that I have to be grateful for, and in a desperate attempt to jolt the common sense back into me, I list them in chronological order. From the earliest to the most recent. "Still though....". Screw.

You know what? I'd really like that feeling for just one day. To have a day when money literally is no object. It'd be nice. Complete unequivocal freedom.

.... lol.. What's that saying? "If wishes were horses, beggers would ride"... Yes? lol.. Still though...

I'm going to bed.

PS: On a completely random note, I have to say that each time I hear this song "I feel like I'm dying" by Lil Wayne (It's playing on this page), I wonder just how messed up - or 'what' he was messed up on when he wrote it. No? There is NO way those words were strung together in that order by a lucid mind. Absolutely no way. lol... That's the end result of a WHOOOLE different kind of freedom... lol.

:-)